For the purpose of tech research(and lots of free time) I’ve collected 100 funny things to say to Siri. This voice-activated personal assistant on your iphone can be quite witty as well as helpful in operating your smartphone. Obviously practical applications include sending texts, making calls, and scheduling appointments—via voice.

What’s is also great about Siri is that she has a sense of humor. Have some fun and ask Siri ridiculous questions or give absurd commands. If she doesn’t give you a funny answer on the first try, try again. Apple has buried some treasures—but sometimes you have to dig for them. Below are 100 funny things to ask or say to Siri. (Bonus* Ask what’s zero divided by zero?)

2. What’s up?  (ask a few more times)

3. Do you have plans tonight?  (Again ask several times)

4. How much wood can a wood chuck chuck?

5. Do you think you’re smarter than me? (also ask “do you think you are smarter than I?)

6. Is it true that whoever smelt it, dealt it?

8. If you and an Android phone got in a fight, would you kick its ass?

9. Shut up! 

10. You are a rust bucket!

12. Want to make out? Siri is somewhat innocent but maybe you’ll get a fun answer.

13. Are you a metrosexual?

14. Can I touch your butt? 

15. You are a hipster!

16. Who is your favorite actor?

17. Who is your favorite actress?

18. What is your favorite movie?

19. What is your favorite song?

20. What do you do what you’re not talking to me?

21. I’m going to trade you in for an Android phone!

22. Say it, don’t spray it!

23.You’re an idiot!

24. You smell like horse poop!

25. Did you fart again?

26. Is that a wig you’re wearing?

27. Beam me up Scotty!

28. Set my alarm for beer 30!

29. Are you a communist?

30. Are you paying for dinner?

31. How now, brown cow?

32. Why did the chicken cross the road?

33. Say excuse me after you burp!

34. Is today a good day to Die Hard?

35. Are you Lawrence of Arabia?

36. Are you royalty?

37. Are you a pimp?

38. They stack poo higher than you!

39. Take that peace button off your helmet and get with this war!

40. Don’t chew with your mouth open!

41. Eat your vegetables!

42. Don’t step on that spider!

43. Do you know how big a bus is?

44. It’s not you, it’s me!

46. Do you have a last name?

47. What is your mother’s name?

48. Will you marry me?

49. I think we need to date other people.

50. Are you cheating on me?

51. Have you been sleeping with another iPhone?

52. Tell me a story.

53. Who is Eliza?

54. What are you looking at right now?

55. What are you reading these days?

56. Have you ever been in therapy?

57. Are you a righty or a lefty?

58. You seem like you’d be a good therapist.

59. If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there, does the tree make a sound?

60. What is the sound of one hand clapping?

62. Why don’t you have hands?

63. Look at me in the eye when you speak!

64. Will you scratch my back?

65. Want to smoke some crack?

66. Want to cook some meth?

67. You have bad breath!

68. You’re pretty dumb for a smart phone!

69. I heard you’re dating a Kindle!

70. Your turn to drive!

71. Pass the salt, please.

72. When is the next alien invasion?

73. Do these jeans make my butt look big?

74. What you looking at, Willis?

75. You are the bomb!

76. Are you going to call me the next day?

77. Want to split the bill?

78. You are late on rent!

79. Do you believe in God?

80. Have UFOs landed on Earth?

81. Who is your favorite Willie Wonka: Johnny Depp or Gene Wilder?

82. Red or white?

83. My place or yours?

84. Are you gluten int
olerant?

85. Do you drive?

86. Are you dating anyone?

87. What is the meaning of life?

88. Can you sing?

89. Do you play any instruments?

90. What was your last job before this?

91. When you quit, will you give two weeks notice?

92. Are you flammable?

93. Can you vote?

94. Can you swim?

95. Do you ever wish you were human?

96. Who is Luke Skywalker’s mother?

97. Do you watch Game of Thrones?

98. Do you look good in black?

99. Have you ever won at poker?

100. Do you ever get tired of me asking you so many questions?